


tell it to the moon

by t_hens



Series: never wanna be EXES [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, One Shot, Phan - Freeform, Phanfiction, Smut, alcohol mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 22:56:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14507298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/t_hens/pseuds/t_hens
Summary: With rum flowing through his veins it's easy to take a risk and pretend that Phil feels the same as he does, and that neither of them will regret this in the morning. But when things are awkward and tense the next day, Dan can't help but wish that he had kept his head and hadn't let the night get away from him.A week later when they are both laying on the hood of Phil's car it makes him think things might be okay, even if the only one he can tell how he really feels is the moon.





	tell it to the moon

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first of a new series I'm starting based off of EXES songs - this fic is based off of 'Sherman Oaks'
> 
> if you haven't taken a listen to them, I highly recommend you do; they are amazing!
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/track/0mzv9Ijee1cHN37LYdQUiw?si=FJ_Fc77rSsWe-KrCBA9ZJw

It smelled like it was going to rain. Petrichor: ‘the smell of an oil the earth releases before rain begins to fall.’ Dan had stumbled upon it once during a 3am Wikipedia deep dive and it had stuck with him. But it wasn’t raining yet, so he felt no need to remove himself from the hood of Phil’s car where he was slightly wine drunk and warm because Phil was pressed close to his side. He glanced over at Phil, who was staring up at the sky, a small smile on his lips. Dan looked up at the sky too, not wanting to break the comfortable silence between them. 

The past week had been tense and awkward and he had been surprised when Phil had texted and asked if he wanted to come over and watch a movie. He had accepted gratefully, hoping that this was finally a break in the weird dynamic that had sprung up between them. He hadn’t been entirely surprised that Phil had broken open a bottle of wine for the occasion, Dan needing a bit of liquid encouragement to stifle the awkwardness between them. 

They settled themselves on the couch, a little more space between them than normal, and Phil pressed play on the film. It wasn’t anything special to watch, a B list horror film that one of Phil’s artsy friends from Uni had recommended for Phil. They sipped their wine and as the story progressed Dan found himself inching closer and closer to Phil, still scared of the movie, no matter how good it was. Phil smiled a little when he noticed and simply opened his arms so that Dan could move into his space. Dan practically dived into Phil’s side and tucked his face into Phil’s shoulder as someone was murdered graphically on the screen. 

“Still can’t handle a scary movie huh?” Phil whispered softly, affection apparent in the small smirk on his face. Dan glared at him without malice.

“No I cannot. I will be in my 50’s and still need to watch a Disney movie straight after,” he said poutily. Phil chuckled and turned his attention back to the movie, but held him a little closer, rubbing his back almost absentmindedly. Dan took another sip of his wine to resist humming his content and turned back to the movie now that the graphic scene was over.

True to his word, Dan requested that they watch another movie when the film was over, though he agreed it didn’t have to be a Disney movie. They agreed on Kill Bill, an old favorite of theirs that they could watch but not have to pay strict attention to. Phil refilled both of their glasses and settled himself back on the sofa but didn’t pull Dan back into his side, which was fine. The scary movie was over, and things didn’t seem to be as tense between them. ‘Could be the wine though,’ Dan thought, taking a long sip from his glass. He mentally shrugged and felt his shoulders follow, causing Phil to raise his eyebrows questioningly at him but he didn’t say anything. He had long since accepted Dan and his habits of talking to himself.

Dan turned his attention back to the movie but he soon found his thoughts drifting. He thought back to how similar this visit was to the last time he had been to Phil’s house. The night had started out nearly identically, a movie on the couch, drinks in hand. But last time the drinks were to celebrate something, Phil’s acceptance into the Master’s program at Uni, not to distract themselves how uncomfortable they were.  
One drink had turned into four, each time one of them would get up they would end up a little closer on the couch until them were pressed up next to each other. Dan’s cheeks were flushed from the rum in his coke and the feeling of Phil’s thighs next to his, how he could feel it every time he made a small movement. He thought it seemed silly for him to be getting so flustered about it, they had always had a physical friendship; tickling and wrestling, poking and standing closer than most friends probably did. Maybe it was the rum, normally he would have thought that was an acceptable answer. Except tonight Phil was looking at him different. He had a lovely flush on his cheeks and his blue eyes were brighter than normal and every time they made eye contact Phil would let it linger, until it became so intense Dan would have to look away, feeling his cheeks burn brighter than before. 

After the fifth time it happened Dan felt like he needed some air. He excused himself and went outside to the back patio. He took a deep breath in of the fresh air and felt his head clear a little. He knew he was probably being dramatic and overthinking things and probably projecting the feelings he had for Phil onto him. He had decided a long time ago that it wasn’t worth risking their friendship to tell Phil about his feelings and he wouldn’t let a little rum change that. He rubbed his eyes, took another deep breath and started to head back inside when he collided with Phil.

“Shit Phil, you scared me,” Dan said, clutching his heart. Phil giggled, “sorry, I didn’t realize you were coming back inside.” Phil had grabbed onto Dan’s arms when they collided to keep him from falling and had yet to let go of him. Dan glanced up at Phil and saw that he was giving him that look again. He felt himself lose the breath that he had just caught. He wanted to kiss Phil, felt the urge all the way down to the very bottoms of his toes. And maybe he wasn’t projecting his feelings, because Phil was leaning in and closing his eyes. Before Dan could overthink it he met Phil the rest of the way and then they were kissing. 

Dan had been thinking of kissing Phil for years, since they had first became friends at Uni. Thought of all the ways the situations it would happen, all the ways that Phil would kiss him, but nothing could have prepared him for how real it was. Phil’s lips were warm, and he tasted like something sugary, like a stolen snack from the kitchen. He kissed like he had been doing it his whole life and knew exactly how Dan wanted to be kissed. Dan felt his bottom lip being nipped at and Phil’s tongue pressing gently into his mouth. 

Dan kissed back greedily, years of pent up want bursting out of him all at once. He pressed himself closer to Phil, wrapping his arms around his neck as Phil’s arms went around his waist. Dan’s hands twined themselves in Phil’s hair and gave a gentle tug. Phil groaned and thrust his hips forward, letting Dan feel that he wasn’t the only one being affected by the present events. Dan pressed himself into Phil and heard that deep groan again, making him grow even harder. Phil pulled away from the kiss, causing Dan to give an involuntary whine. Phil’s pupils were blown wide, his lips bright red and swollen and Dan wanted nothing more than to pull him back in for another kiss but waited to see why Phil had pulled away.

“Do you wanna go upstairs,” Phil asked and a lovely flush spread over his cheeks, though he didn’t look embarrassed. Dan nodded enthusiastically, too hard and the rum a little too thick in his bloodstream to try and deal with words. 

Dan followed Phil inside and upstairs to his room, where he had been a million times before but this time it felt like he had never been there before. Because this was a completely different experience. He had never kissed Phil in his room, or had Phil back him up to his bed and be pushed down into it. Never watched Phil undress, or have Phil slowly undress him. It was far more intoxicating than the rum downstairs ever could be. Once they were both undressed Phil laid on top of him and kissed him languidly. Dan pulled him in closer to him and touched every possible inch of the pale soft skin he could. He could feel Phil’s hard length pressed against his thigh and he was starting to feel dizzy with want.

“Please,” he finally whined, bucking his hips up into Phil. Phil pressed a kiss to his lips and nodded and got up to search in his bedside table. He came back to the bed with lube and a condom. 

“Are you sure,” he asked. “I know we drank tonight, and I know we aren’t like, wasted, but I just want to be sure. I want you to be sure.” Dan smiled and nodded, but knew that wouldn’t be enough for Phil, so he replied, “yes I’m sure. I want this so badly. I want *you* so badly.” Phil’s head dropped and he groaned, his hand moved to his cock and started stroking almost as if Dan’s words had been some sort of aphrodisiac. Dan whined and thrusted his hips up again. The sound seemed to bring Phil back to reality, causing him to drop his own cock and grab Dan’s, making Dan let out a high pitched keen. 

“You’re lucky all my roommates are gone,” Phil laughed. He let go of Dan and started squirting lube on his fingers to prep Dan. 

“No, you’re lucky. I don’t give a fuck,” Dan said, taking a deep breath in as he felt the first finger enter him. He made himself relax, knowing it would make things go quicker. Phil leaned up and kissed him, making his whole body relax instantly. Soon he was loose and Phil had three fingers stretching Dan out, making him moan as Phil’s longer fingers would occasionally graze over his prostate. 

“Please, c’mon I’m ready. Please,” Phil must have been desperate because he didn’t spend any time making a cheeky remark about how whiney Dan was being, he simply slid the condom on and hovered over Dan, asking one more time if Dan was sure.

“God yes, Please.” Phil nodded again and started pressing in slowly. Dan whined again, both in pleasure and a bit pain. It had been a while since he had gotten laid, and Phil was slightly larger than average but that was fine. The burn was worth it because he was here, with Phil and Phil was kissing him and filling him and it was amazing. Once Phil had bottomed out and Dan had a moment to adjust he nodded that he could move and they started a quick rhythm together.  
Dan normally prided himself on his stamina, both topping and bottoming, but tonight he was a goner. Phil seemed to have some magic over him, Dan thought as he whined and moaned at the top of his lungs, hoping the neighbors wouldn’t be able to hear him. It only took a few strokes of Phil’s hand over his cock and he was painting both of their chests in cum. Thankfully that seemed to set Phil off and he was quick behind, filling the condom up and saving Dan from the embarrassment of having to explain that normally he really does last much longer in bed.

Phil got up to remove the condom and got Dan a washcloth and his underwear from the floor, putting his own on as well. Dan cleaned up and put his pants back on and laid down next to Phil and closed his eyes. He was about to start panicking; should he leave, did Phil want him to stay? What was the protocol here, when Phil pulled him into the middle of the bed and into his chest. Dan hummed happily and covered himself with Phil’s duvet and felt himself fell asleep almost instantly.

When he woke the next morning his head was pounding, the dangers of drinking such sweet alcohol, and Phil’s side of the bed was empty. Dan frowned, but tried not to overthink already. He gathered his clothes and went to the bathroom, dressing and brushing his teeth with the spare toothbrush he had left here when Phil first moved in. He made his way downstairs and found Phil in the kitchen making coffee. 

“Hey,” Dan said hesitantly, unsure of how things were between them. Phil turned and gave him a tight, tense smile and a flat “good morning,” and it was all the confirmation Dan needed that his overthinking was correct. Last night was a mistake, now things were going to be weird between them. Were they going to stop being friends? ‘Fuck’ Dan thought, resisting the urge to start freaking out then and there. 

“Do you want a cup of coffee?” Phil asked quietly. He hadn’t fully looked Dan in the eyes since he had said good morning, the instant coffee in his hand apparently far more interesting than Dan. 

 

“No, I’m gonna head home. Got a real bad headache,” Dan said. Phil nodded, still toying with the instant coffee in his hand and said a quiet “okay.” Dan resisted the urge to roll his eyes and walked towards the door, calling himself a cab, not wanting to deal with the bus or underground right now. 

The week that had followed was probably what Dan considered to be one of the worst of his life. His bad mood had followed him to his part time job, to all of his classes. He and Phil had texted a handful of times, short, polite conversations. Phil had thanked him for coming over and celebrating with him, but had not mentioned anything that happened between them and Dan had glared at the screen for 5 whole minutes for replying ‘no problem.’ He knew he was being a bit petty but his feelings were hurt and he needed a few days to lick his wounds and then he could get over himself. If Phil wanted to forget about it and forget it ever happened he could do that, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t gonna spend a few days being passive aggressive and pissed. 

By the time Saturday had rolled around he felt that he had his feelings packed up pretty nicely. He could be just friends with Phil, he had done it this long after all. Granted, it would be a little harder now that he knew what Phil’s dick looked like, and felt like, but it didn’t matter he thought. Their friendship mattered more. He was happy Phil had texted him to hang out, he felt like maybe Phil was ready to put it behind them.

Dan was snapped back to reality as he felt Phil get up from the couch. 

“I’m getting a little tired of Kill Bill. Wanna go outside? There’s supposed to be a meteor shower tonight.” Dan nodded and got up too and put on his jacket. They walked outside and Phil suggested they lay on the hood of his car so they could get a better view of the sky. Dan agreed and they both gingerly climbed onto the hood, not wanting to cause any dents. The sky was pitch black and the moon was bright white and not quite full. Phil’s flat was a little outside of the city so they actually were able to see some stars. Phil pointed to all the constellations he remembered from his Astronomy course, and Dan snorted each time he would say one that was obviously made up because he forgot the real one. 

Things were starting to feel easy again. He could do this. He could put away his wants and just be friends with this dork, this person who had been his only friend now for so long. That was far more important than chasing after a crush. He nodded to himself and Phil caught it out of the side of his eye and laughed and shook his head but didn’t say anything. 

After a while Phil sat up and started to slide off the car. 

“Should probably head inside. My parents are coming tomorrow and I have to be up early.” 

“Okay,” Dan said, sliding off too. He gave a small wave and started walking towards the bus station a few blocks down. He had only been walking for a few seconds though, when he heard running behind him and turned around quickly. Phil was standing in his space now, staring into his eyes intensely. Dan didn’t say anything, just looked back questioningly. Before Dan could react, Phil reached forward and captured Dan’s lips in a kiss. Dan kissed back on instinct, but then his brain caught up with his body and screamed at him to think for a second. Dan put his hand to Phil’s chest and pushed him back gently. Phil stood back, a look of confusion on his face. 

“Phil, I -” Dan started, unsure how to express how confused he was. “I’ve liked you for so long, and last weekend, I thought something was happening, and then the next morning, it seemed like you thought it was a mistake. And that’s fine, I am totally okay with being just friends. But I can’t just be okay with you kissing me every time you have a glass of wine. I can put my feelings aside, but you can’t play with them.” Phil hung his head and looked guilty.  
“It was really stupid of me to act like that last weekend. I absolutely wanted that and I didn’t regret it. I *don’t* regret it. I’m so happy it happened, because I’ve liked you too. I just didn’t know how to deal with all of it, or how to talk to you about it. Imagine that, a degree in English and Linguistics and I can’t even have a conversation about sleeping with someone I care about.” 

Dan smiled “You like me too,” he asked, feeling a bit like a schoolboy.

“Of course I do, I am just really awkward and I didn’t know how to tell you.” Dan smiled and pulled him in for another kiss. 

“Is that what this whole fake meteor shower thing was for, so you could try and tell me you liked me?” Phil scowled. “There really were supposed to be meteors, I think we’re just in the wrong part of England to see them.” Dan laughed and kissed him again.

“Let’s go inside, Mr. Master of Astronomy and Linguistics.” Phil pouted but pulled Dan into his side and they walked inside together, Dan’s plans for going home forgotten.

**Author's Note:**

> @tobieallison on tumblr


End file.
